Who do we have here?
Ruthie, Veronica, Terrance.
And who's that under the sheet?
Little Willy Wonka.
Willy Wonka was the son of the city's most famous dentist...
...Wilbur Wonka.
Now...
...let's see what the damage is this year, shall we?
Caramels.
They'd get stuck in your braces, wouldn't they?
Lollipops.
Ought to be called "cavities on a stick."
Then we have all this....
All this...
...chocolate.
You know, just last week, l was reading in a very important medical journal...
...that some children are allergic to chocolate.
Makes their noses itch.
Maybe l'm not allergic.
l could try a piece.
Really?
But why take a chance?
Mr. Wonka? Mr. Wonka?
-We're headed for a tunnel. -Oh, yeah.
Full speed ahead.
-How can they see where they're going? -They can't.
There's no knowing where they're going.
Switch on the lights!
People, keep an eye out.
We're passing some very important rooms here.
What do you use hair cream for?
To lock in moisture.
-Whipped cream. -Precisely.
That doesn't make sense.
For your information, little girl...
...whipped cream isn't whipped cream at all unless it's been whipped with whips.
Everybody knows that.
Stop the boat. l wanna show you guys something.
Now, this is the most important room in the entire factory.
Now, everyone, enjoy yourselves, but just don't touch anything.
Okay? Go on.
Go on, scoot.
Hey, Mr. Wonka, what's this?
Let me show you.
Thank you.
These are Everlasting Gobstoppers.
They're for children who are given very little allowance.
You can suck on it all year, and it'll never get any smaller.
-lsn't that neat? -lt's like gum.
No. Gum is for chewing.
lf you tried chewing one of these Gobstoppers...
...you'd break all your little teeth off.
But they sure do taste terrific.
And this is Hair Toffee.
You suck down one of these little boogers...
...and in exactly half an hour...
...a brand-new crop of hair will grow out over the top of your little noggin.
And a mustache. And a beard.
-Who wants a beard? -Well...
...beatniks, for one. Folk singers and motorbike riders.
You know, all those hip, jazzy, super-cool, neat, keen and groovy cats.
lt's in the fridge, daddy-o. Are you hep to the jive?
Can you dig what l'm laying down? l knew you could.
Slide me some skin, soul brother.
Unfortunately, the mixture isn't right yet.
Because an Oompa-Loompa tried some yesterday, and, well, he--
How are you today?
You look great.
Watch this.
You mean that's it?
Do you even know what "it" is?
-lt's gum. -Yeah.
lt's a stick of the most amazing and sensational gum in the whole universe.
Know why? Know why?
Because this gum is a full three-course dinner all by itself.
Why would anyone want that?
"lt will be the end of all kitchens and all cooking.
Just a little strip of Wonka's magic chewing gum and that is all you will...
...ever need at breakfast, lunch and dinner.
This piece of gum happens to be tomato soup, roast beef and blueberry pie."
lt sounds great.
-lt sounds weird. -lt sounds like my kind of gum.
l'd rather you didn't. There are still some things that are--
l'm the world-record holder in chewing gum. l'm not afraid of anything.
-How is it, honey? -lt's amazing!
Tomato soup. l can feel it running down my throat.
Yeah. Spit it out.
-Young lady, l think you'd better-- -lt's changing.
Roast beef, with baked potato.
Crispy skin and butter.
Keep chewing. My little girl's gonna be the first person to have a chewing-gum meal.
Yeah. l'm just a little concerned about the--
Blueberry pie and ice cream!
-That part. -What's happening to her nose?
lt's turning blue.
Your whole nose has gone purple.
What do you mean?
Violet, you're turning violet.
-What's happening? -Well, l told you l hadn't quite got it right.
Because it goes a little funny when it gets to the dessert.
lt's the blueberry pie that does it.
l'm terribly sorry.
Mother? What's happening to me?
She's swelling up.
Like a blueberry.
l've tried it on, like, 20 Oompa-Loompas, and each one ended up as a blueberry.
lt's just weird.
But l can't have a blueberry as a daughter.
How is she supposed to compete?
You could put her in a county fair.
Yeah, yeah
Yeah
Listen close, and listen hard
To the tale of Violet Beauregarde
This gentle girl She sees no wrong
In chewing, chewing, chewing, chewing
Chewing, chewing all day long
Yeah
She goes on chewing till, at last
Her chewing muscles grow so vast
And from her face Her giant chin
Sticks out just like a violin
Chewing, chewing all day long
For years and years she chews away
Her jaws get stronger every day
And with one great, tremendous chew
They bite the poor girl's tongue in two
And that is why we try so hard
To save Miss Violet Beauregarde
Chewing, chewing all day long
Chewing, chewing, chewing, chewing
Chewing, chewing all day long
Mr. Wonka!
l want you to roll Miss Beauregarde into the boat...
...and take her along to the Juicing Room at once, okay?
Juicing Room? What are they gonna do to her there?
They're gonna squeeze her.
Like a little pimple.
We gotta squeeze all that juice out of her immediately.
Mother, help me.
Please.
Come on.
Let's boogie.
Without the boat, we'll have to move double-time to keep on schedule.
There's far too much to see.
-Mr. Wonka? -Yeah?
Why did you decide to let people in?
So they could see the factory, of course.
But why now? And why only five?
What's the special prize, and who gets it?
The best kind of prize is a surprise.
Will Violet always be a blueberry?
No. Maybe. l don't know.
That's what you get from chewing gum all day. lt's disgusting.
lf you hate gum so much, why do you make it?
Once again, you shouldn't mumble. lt's starting to bum me out.
Can you remember the first candy you ever ate?
No.
In fact, Willy Wonka did remember the first candy he ever ate.
l'm sorry, l was having a flashback.
l see.
These flashbacks happen often?
lncreasingly...
...today.
This is a room l know all about.
For you see, Mr. Wonka, l, myself, am in the nut business.
Are you using the Havermax 4000 to do your sorting?
No.
You're really weird.
-Squirrels. -Yeah. Squirrels.
These squirrels are specially trained to get the nuts out of shells.
Why use squirrels? Why not use Oompa-Loompas?
Because only squirrels can get the whole walnut out almost every single time.
See how they tap them with their knuckles to make sure it's not bad?
Oh, look. Look.
l think that one's got a bad nut.
Daddy, l want a squirrel.
Get me one of those squirrels. l want one.
Veruca, dear, you have many marvelous pets.
All l've got at home is one pony and two dogs and four cats and six bunny rabbits...
...and two parakeets and three canaries and a green parrot and a turtle...
...and a silly old hamster. l want a squirrel!
All right, pet.
Daddy will get you a squirrel as soon as he possibly can.
But l don't want any old squirrel, l want a trained squirrel.
Very well.
Mr. Wonka, how much do you want for one of these squirrels?
Name your price.
Oh, they're not for sale. She can't have one.
Daddy.
l'm sorry, darling.
Mr. Wonka's being unreasonable.
lf you won't get me a squirrel, l'll get one myself.
Veruca.
Little girl?
Veruca, come back here at once.
Veruca.
Little girl?
Don't touch that squirrel's nuts.
lt'll make him crazy.
l'll have you.
Veruca.
No!
Veruca!
Let's find the key.
Nope. Not that one.
-Daddy! -Veruca!
No. lt's not that one.
There it is.
There it isn't.
Daddy, l want them to stop.
What are they doing?
They're testing to see if she's a bad nut.
Oh, my goodness. She is a bad nut after all.
Veruca!
Daddy!
Where are they taking her?
Where all the other bad nuts go. To the garbage chute.
Where does the chute go?
To the incinerator.
But don't worry. We only light it on Tuesdays.
Today is Tuesday.
Well, there's always the chance they decided not to light it today.
Now, she may be stuck in the chute just below the top.
lf that's the case, all you have to do is just reach in and pull her out.
Okay?
Veruca Salt, the little brute
Has just gone down the garbage chute
And she will meet, as she descends
A rather different set of friends
A fish head, for example, cut
This morning from a halibut
An oyster from an oyster stew
A steak that no one else would chew
And lots of other things as well
Each with its rather horrid smell
Horrid smell
These are Veruca's newfound friends
That she will meet as she descends
These are Veruca's newfound friends
Who went and spoiled her, who indeed?
Who pandered to her every need?
Who turned her into such a brat?
Who are the culprits?
Who did that?
The guilty ones, now this is sad
Are dear old Mum and loving Dad
Oh, really? Oh, good.
l've just been informed that the incinerator's broken.
So there should be about three weeks of rotten garbage to break their fall.
Well, that's good news.
Yeah.
Well, let's keep on trucking.
l don't know why l didn't think of this.
The elevator's by far the most efficient way to get around the factory.
There can't be this many floors.
How do you know, Mr. Smarty-Pants?
This isn't just an ordinary up-and-down elevator, by the way.
This elevator can go sideways, longways, slantways...
...and any other ways you can think of.
You just press any button and, whoosh, you're off.
Oh, look. Look.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Fudge Mountain.
l'd rather not talk about this one.
This is the Puppet Hospital and Burn Center.
lt's relatively new.
The administration offices.
Hello, Doris.
Why is everything here completely pointless?
Candy doesn't have to have a point.
That's why it's candy.
lt's stupid.
Candy is a waste of time.
No son of mine is going to be a chocolatier.
Then l'll run away.
To Switzerland. Bavaria.
The candy capitals of the world.
Go ahead.
But l won't be here when you come back.
Sorry, son.
We're closing for the night.
l wanna pick a room.
Go ahead.
Here.
Put these on quick, and don't take them off whatever you do.
This light could burn your eyeballs right out of your skulls.
And we certainly don't want that, now, do we?
This is the testing room for my very latest and greatest invention:
Television Chocolate.
One day it occurred to me:
"Hey, if television can break up a photograph...
...into millions and millions of tiny pieces and send it whizzing through the air...
...then reassemble it on the other end...
...why can't l do the same with chocolate?
Why can't l send a real bar of chocolate through the television, ready to be eaten?"
I'm not gonna touch it. I'm not going in that direction.
Sounds impossible.
lt is impossible.
You don't understand anything about science.
First off, there's a difference between waves and particles.
Second, the amount of power it would take to convert energy in matter...
...would be like nine atomic bombs.
Mumbler!
Seriously, l cannot understand a single word you're saying.
Okey-dokey.
l shall now send a bar of chocolate from one end of the room...
...to the other by television.
Bring in the chocolate.
lt's gotta be real big because you know how on TV...
...you can film a regular-size man, and he comes out looking this tall?
Same basic principle.
lt's gone.
Told you. That bar of chocolate is now rushing through the air above our heads...
...in a million tiny little pieces.
Come over here. Come on. Come on. Come on!
Watch the screen.
Here it comes.
Oh, look.
-Take it. -lt's just a picture on a screen.
Scaredy-cat.
You take it.
Go on. Just reach out and grab it.
Go on.
Holy buckets.
Eat it. Go on.
lt'll be delicious. lt's the same bar.
lt's just gotten a little smaller on the journey, that's all.
lt's great.
lt's a miracle.
So imagine, you're sitting at home watching television...
...and suddenly a commercial will flash onto the screen, and a voice will say:
"Wonka's chocolates are the best in the world.
lf you don't believe us, try one for yourself."
And you simply reach out and take it.
How about that?
So can you send other things?
Say, like, breakfast cereal?
Do you have any idea what breakfast cereal's made of?
lt's those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners.
But could you send it by TV if you wanted to?
-Of course l could. -What about people?
Well, why would l wanna send a person? They don't taste very good at all.
Don't you realize what you've invented? lt's a teleporter.
lt's the most important invention in the history of the world.
And all you think about is chocolate.
Calm down, Mike.
l think Mr. Wonka knows what he's talking about.
No, he doesn't. He has no idea.
You think he's a genius, but he's an idiot.
But l'm not.
Hey, little boy.
Don't push my button.
He's gone.
Let's go check the television, see what we get.
l sure hope no part of him gets left behind.
What do you mean?
Well, sometimes only half of the little pieces find their way through.
lf you had to choose only one half of your son, which one would it be?
What kind of a question is that?
No need to snap. Just a question.
Try every channel. l'm starting to feel a little anxious.
-There he is. -Mike.
The most important thing
That we've ever learned
The most important thing we've learned As far as children are concerned
Is never, never let them near The television set
Or better still just don't install The idiotic thing at all
Never, never let them Never, never let them
It rots the senses in the head
It keeps imagination dead
It clogs and clutters up the mind
It makes a child so dull and blind
So dull, so dull
He can no longer understand A fairy tale, a fairyland
A fairyland, a fairyland
His brain becomes as soft as cheese
His thinking powers rust and freeze
He cannot think, he only sees
Regarding little Mike Teavee
We very much regret that we
Regret that we
Shall simply have to wait and see
Wait and see, wait and see
Wait and see, wait and see, wait and see
We very much regret that we
Shall simply have to wait and see
If we can get him back his height
But if we can't
It serves him right
Somebody grab him.
Help me.
Oh, thank heavens. He's completely unharmed.
Unharmed? What are you talking about?
Just put me back in the other way.
There is no other way.
lt's television, not telephone. There's quite a difference.
And what exactly do you propose to do about it?
l don't know.
But young men are extremely springy. They stretch like mad.
-Let's go put him in the taffy puller. -Taffy puller?
Hey, that was my idea.
Boy, is he gonna be skinny.
Yeah.
Taffy puller.
l want you to take Mr. Teavee and his...
...little boy up to the taffy puller, okay?
Stretch him out.
On with the tour.
There's still so much left to see.
Now, how many children are left?
Mr. Wonka, Charlie's the only one left now.
You mean, you're the only one?
Yes.
What happened to the others?
Oh, my dear boy, but that means you've won.
Oh, l do congratulate you. l really do.
l'm absolutely delighted.
l had a hunch right from the beginning. Well done.
Now, we mustn't dilly or dally.
We have an enormous number of things to do before the day's out.
But luckily for us, we have the great glass elevator to speed things along--
Speed things along.
Come on.
"Up and Out" ? What kind of room is that?
Hold on.
Oh, my goodness.
We're gonna need to go much faster, otherwise we'll just never break through.
Break through what?
l've been longing to press that button for years.
Well, here we go. Up and out.
-But do you really mean--? -Yeah. l do.
But it's made of glass.
lt'll smash into a million pieces.
Augustus, please don't eat your fingers.
But l taste so good.
Look, Mother. l'm much more flexible now.
Yes, but you're blue.
Daddy, l want a flying glass elevator.
Veruca, the only thing you're getting today is a bath, and that's final.
But l want it.
Where do you live?
Right over there. That little house.
What time do you think they'll be back?
Hard to know, dear.
l think there's someone at the door.
Hi, Mom.
Mom. Dad. We're back.
-Charlie. -Charlie.
Goodness.
This is Willy Wonka. He gave us a ride home.
l see that.
You must be the boy's--
-Parents? -Yeah. That.
He says Charlie's won something.
Not just some something.
The most "something" something of any something that's ever been.
l'm gonna give this little boy my entire factory.
You must be joking.
No, really. lt's true.
Because you see, a few months ago, l was having my semiannual haircut...
...and l had the strangest revelation.
In that one silver hair...
...I saw reflected my life's work...
...my factory, my beloved Oompa-Loompas.
Who would watch over them after I was gone?
I realized in that moment:
l must find a heir.
And l did, Charlie.
You.
That's why you sent out the golden tickets.
What are Oompa-Loompas?
l invited five children to the factory...
...and the one who was the least rotten would be the winner.
That's you, Charlie.
So, what do you say?
Are you ready to leave all this behind and come live with me at the factory?
Sure. Of course.
l mean, it's all right if my family come too?
Oh, my dear boy, of course they can't.
You can't run a chocolate factory...
...with a family hanging over you like an old, dead goose. No offense.
None taken, jerk.
A chocolatier has to run free and solo.
He has to follow his dreams. Gosh darn the consequences.
Look at me.
l had no family, and l'm a giant success.
So if l go with you to the factory, l won't ever see my family again?
Yeah. Consider that a bonus.
Then l'm not going.
l wouldn't give up my family for anything.
Not for all the chocolate in the world.
Oh, l see.
That's weird.
There's other candy too besides chocolate.
l'm sorry, Mr. Wonka. l'm staying here.
Well, that's just...
...unexpected...
...and weird.
But l suppose, in that case, l'll just--
Goodbye, then.
Sure you won't change your mind?
l'm sure.
Okay. Bye.
Things are going to get much better.
And for once, Grandma Georgina knew exactly what she was talking about.
The next morning, Charlie helped his parents fix the hole in the roof.
Grandpa Joe spent the whole day out of bed.
He didn't feel tired at all.
Charlie's father got a better job at the toothpaste factory...
...repairing the machine that had replaced him.
Things had never been better for the Bucket family.
The same could not be said for Willy Wonka.
l can't put my finger on it.
Candy's the only thing l was ever certain of...
...and now l'm just not certain at all.
l don't know which flavors to make or which ideas to try.
l'm second-guessing myself, which is nuts.
l've always made whatever candy l felt like, and l--
That's just it, isn't it?
l make the candy l feel like, but now l feel terrible, so the candy's terrible.
You're very good.
Pity about that chocolate fellow, Wendell-- Walter.
-Willy Wonka. -That's the one.
Says here in the paper his new candies aren't selling very well.
But l suppose maybe he's just a rotten egg who deserves it.
-Yep. -Oh, really?
You ever met him?
l did.
l thought he was great at first, but then he didn't turn out so nice.
He also has a funny haircut.
l do not!
-Why are you here? -l don't feel so hot.
What makes you feel better when you feel terrible?
My family.
What do you have against my family?
lt's not just your family. lt's the whole idea of--
They tell you what to do, what not to do...
...and it's not conducive to a creative atmosphere.
Usually they're just trying to protect you because they love you.
lf you don't believe me, you should ask.
Ask who? My father?
No way.
At least, not by myself.
You want me to go with you?
Hey. Hey, what a good idea. Yeah!
And you know what? l've got transport--
l have to be more careful where l park this thing.
l think we've got the wrong house.
Do you have an appointment?
No. But he's overdue.
Open.
Now, let's see what the damage is, shall we?
Heavens.
l haven't seen bicuspids like these since....
Since....
Willy?
Hi, Dad.
All these years...
...and you haven't flossed.
Not once.
It was on this day that Willy Wonka repeated his offer to Charlie...
...who accepted on one condition.
Sorry we're late. We were brainstorming.
Thought l heard thunder.
-You staying for dinner, Willy? -Yes, please.
l'll shuffle the plates.
You smell like peanuts.
-l love peanuts. -Oh, thank you.
You smell like...
...old people and soap.
l like it.
Elbows off the table, Charlie.
How do you feel about little raspberry kites?
With licorice instead of string.
-Boys, no business at the dinner table. -Sorry, Mom.
l think you're on to something, though, Charlie.
In the end, Charlie Bucket won a chocolate factory.
But Willy Wonka got something even better:
A family.
And one thing was absolutely certain:
Life had never been sweeter.
[ENGLISH]